Sexual Racism Suxs

“No rice, abos, fats or fems“, read the legend of an on line profile.
When does sexual preference become sexual prejudice? Is it the terminology? If it said “No Asians, no Aborigines, slim masculine guys preferred” would that make it better? WOG, ABO, GAM, FAT, and FEM are all commonly used terms within our community. All of them in one way or another seek to dehumanise us. It makes it easier for us to dismiss those amongst us who are different. Do we think it empowers us? We, a group that has been discriminated against, can feel that at least we’re not the lowest of the low.
Sexual racism and stereotyping is a problem within the gay community. I’m as guilty of it as anyone. Whenever I see an older gay man with a younger Asian gay male I immediately make an assumption; “Chopsticks and walking sticks”. That phrase vividly illustrates the ingrained level of racism in white, gay Australians. It carries with it a presumption that both parties are settling for something less than they might otherwise expect.
I don’t think of myself as a racist but the very fact that these thoughts jump into my mind worries me. Of course I’m discriminatory; we all are by our very nature. We make choices and judgements based on appearance and perception every day. Some of these decisions are helpful others are destructive. But do I make judgements based on someone’s race? Yes. It’s not overt, I don’t burn crosses but I make assumptions. How did I get to be this way? When did I start to judge people based on their ethnicity?
It seems at its most blatant on line. Does the anonymity of the LCD screen and the use of a nickname or adding “LOL” and a “smiley face”, somehow give us the right to attack and vilify with impunity? Does it make it any the less cruel? Would we say, face to face, most of the things that we type? When confronted the perpetrator often replies “it’s just the internet, no one takes it seriously” or better “if you don’t like it, leave”. Words have power. Just because we can’t see the effect doesn’t mean that there are no consequences.
Is the term “No GAMS” offensive? Yes. If we saw an advert proclaiming “NO GAYS” would we all quietly move on? No, we would picket and protest. We’ve been fighting for decades now for acceptance and yet within our own sub groups we discriminate.
I don’t have any answers but I do know that we have to deal with the issue. If one person is offended then we, as a community, should look at changing or modifying our behaviour. This isn’t political correctness this is common decency.
I started this piece with what I thought was a simple question, “when does preference become prejudice”? It may be a simple question but there are no simple solutions. I thought this would be about how we treat others but now at the end I think it’s more about our own self esteem. It’s a theme that keeps recurring for me, “respect of self”; when we think so little of ourselves how can we ever expect to think positively of others.