Have you ever had one of those weeks? I did.
It started innocently enough standing in front of the toilet with a pot of leftovers trying to open the seat by pushing my foot down as if it was a rubbish bin. Now, to me, this was rather amusing but imagine if it had been the reverse, standing in front of the rubbish bin… well you can picture the rest.
One incident by itself does not an article make. The next day as I drove to my local café I had what can only be described as a senior’s moment. Yes, I pumped the accelerator and not the brake and just avoided being hit by a taxi that appeared from nowhere. I now sympathise with all those Nannas who have driven down the steps of the railway station, thinking they were entering a parking garage.
You would think that would be enough but no, wait there’s more.
Three nights later I was sitting on the couch with blood running down the back of my head. Now I am by nature a suspicious person and I assumed, incorrectly, that my housemate had hit me over the head with a hammer. We have one of “those” relationships. Apparently I had been talking to “Thor” in the kitchen, collapsed backwards and whacked my head on the hardwood floors. I was more Greg Louganis than Mathew Mitcham. I’m told I was out for about five minutes. I have no memory of any of it and I’m still considering the hammer theory.
The very next day I had promised to help a much older friend of mine, who now lives in a nursing home, get to St Vincent’s to have his feeding tube replaced. I know; it’s a tube that feeds into his stomach and he pulled it out when taking off his shirt - this is my world. While waiting for him to be seen, I stood up and yes you guessed it, had “a turn”. Now I was this elderly gent’s designated driver. Suddenly he, poor fellow, was ignored while I was ushered through to a day bed and force fed Barley Sugars, by a cute young male nurse who lent over me and said, “So you’re driving him home?”
Being a straight acting gay bloke I of course “sucked it up” and lived for the next five days with headaches, confusion and dizziness. I Googled the symptoms and discovered I probably had concussion and that it would go away in time. However after emptying yet another packet of Nurofen I thought perhaps I better see a doctor. He took one look at me and quick as a flash said “concussion” and “that it would”, yes you guessed it “go away in time”.
It seems the main problem was that my blood pressure medicine was working too well and slowing the flow of blood to my head to a trickle. “Better stop taking those tablets” he said. Well “der”.
So I’m off my tablets, no more fainting but now I have this strange tingling down my left arm. I really must Google that.
